I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
