You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
