Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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