so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
