Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize