In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
operation harelip BJ is a go
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
