just come out here and I will go home with you...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
