is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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