If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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