At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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