He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
