Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
