I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
