I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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