You smell like stripper and shame
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
