Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
