Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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