so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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