It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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