I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He better not be in your backpack
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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