Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
