gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
