Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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