Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We just shotgunned beers for America
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
