The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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