So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
