so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
