Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
