why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
