the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize