I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
