Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
