The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
