So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
