When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
