Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
