MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
