pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize