Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
