ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
