Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
