Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize