lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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