Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
