Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
