These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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