Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
