My room smells like vodka and shame
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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