I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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