just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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