Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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