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Only a mothe r could love this liver
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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