I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
