Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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