He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
