Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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