loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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