i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
