So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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