we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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