ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
