I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
