There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize