a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
