I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
